This is my word for 2017.
A couple of years ago I was in a conversation with a very respected teacher of mine, Diane St John. I was going on about allowing – basically more of everything into my life when she said, with full bodied expression: learn to receive.
For a couple of years I have pondered this conversation. It was in Diane’s full bodied expression that I could sense there was something to receiving. Her expression suggested that there is much more depth, more penetration, more wisdom – an emotional intelligence – in receiving verses allowing.
I can wrap my head around this suggestion. The two words have a completely different feeling to them.
Receive – suggests that I need not be anything more than I currently am. Just be – and gratefully absorb what is being given.
Allow – suggests something needs to be considered/done prior to allowing (like, do I deserve this and if so can I allow it?).
When I look back on my life I can see that I have had a difficult time receiving. Meaning, if good things come my way I have a tendency to have an immediate response that suggests I don’t deserve good things coming my way. I am sure that there are many reasons for this response (culture, family dynamics, societal norms, self worth issues, etc.) and instead of dissecting the hell of it (something I am prone to do) I am giving myself 1 year to reprogram my habitual response into one that will be supportive of receiving what is meant for me.
Without hesitation, without question, without guilt, without wondering if I deserve it.
My word for 2016 was Eros. I wanted to explore the spontaneous energy that is rooted in love and pleasure. It was in this exploration that I became hyper aware of the emotional intelligence within the concept of receiving. What a cool year it has been.
I have a better understanding of Diane’s full bodied expression when she suggested that I learn to receive. And now I want to fully open to embodying it.