This is what I shared with my newsletter list this month. One year ago my journey of becoming my most authentic self was brought out into the light. I am looking forward to what another year brings.
This newsletter marks 1 year of me sharing tips and inspiration for living life more fully, a phrase my website designer, Krista Smith, created. When she plugged this language into the sign-on-here link on my website I had an internal cringe, a feeling of — do I really know how to do that?
Well – here I am 1 year later (along with 8 solid years of deep self exploration) and I can tell you this…..my internal life just keeps getting better.
So – I think that I can share tips that have worked for me, inspiration for why we should strive to live life more fully, and it does seem that you appreciate my honesty and vulnerability while doing so. Many of you have thanked me for being human and for being real in what I share.
This past year while communicating with you in this way I have become more comfortable in my skin, I have more internal peace, my body hurts less, and I am finding that seeking joy and pleasure is now something I value more than accomplishing. This is huge for me.
Be-ing rather than do-ing.
I am allowing myself to feel good and make decisions from this place. A place that is supportive of my deepest desires.
And this is shifting my focus within my business. My motive is now more about being genuine and less about the how-to’s of making money.
That said, I am interested to see how I proceed with these newsletters. To be honest I started doing this as a business strategy. I was cultivating a following so that I had an audience to sell to. My product was, (maybe still is?) The Conscious Mothers Movement of which some of you have been participating in already.
I might still create it…. and I might not.
What I know I will continue is self exploration and sharing my epiphanies with you.
I will continue to do this because it is making me a better person. There is something to be said about being accountable, honest, vulnerable, and dedicated to living the best possible life.
Maybe this is all that I will do?!
Thank you for being my audience because YOU are helping me to become my most authentic self. I appreciate you more than you are probably aware of.
“Summer has been a “mini-vacation” for me and I have been right in SLC most of the time. I have LOVED this summer and it is due to me feeling like I am flourishing. Such an internal experience. Not much around me has changed and inside I feel like I am expanding in this rapid, pure, luxuriant way. A way that I won’t turn away from. I have created a very solid foundation for the life that I want to be living. A more purposeful life that has nothing to do with accomplishing. A more nourishing life that is rooted in internal peace, joy, pleasure and presence. I have been seeking this path, and I have needed guidance and the feeling that it is OKAY to live like this. It is okay to feel really, really good about life (even when I have had not so great days). Indeed I am flourishing – growing luxuriantly and thriving!”
I wrote that in response to a question (and lesson) that was asked in the online course I took over the summer. Flourish, an exceptional, new, online journey. Highly recommended and I will keep you posted when Erin offers it again.
When I re-read what I wrote, and am sharing here, I almost feel like I am bragging. Please know that I do not intend to brag about my inner state of well-being. And I do feel very proud. I have explored a lot in order to reach where I am now.
And where I am now is feeling completely comfortable with: life is mostly good.
Because to be honest, my life is not all good. There are parts of it that are excruciating; important relationships that are spiraling downward, or in need of resisted transformation. Big life lessons for me that are not easy because I can’t ‘fix-it’ (i.e. control it).
And I am finding it very interesting to be waking up in the morning with more hope and joy in my heart than anything else. I have this internal solidity that encompasses a knowing and trusting of what is best for me.
How can it be that I can feel so content with myself internally while having these external crises situations that cause me a lot of internal conflict and deep sorrow?
Maybe it is because I am getting closer to 40 years old and appreciating the wisdom that comes with age? I have settled into motherhood, I am accepting that I can’t change others, I have been releasing anger and fear, and I am learning how to live with an open heart while also setting boundaries that help me remain on track for the life that I am cultivating – all while staying grounded and healthy.
It is definitely a combination of many things.
Primarily self exploration, shedding layers, and falling in love with myself.
I am excited for another year of sharing with you. My truth will become more raw, what I share will have more depth, and I will remain vulnerable. You seem to appreciate this the most.
Thank you for reading and for writing back when you do. I love knowing you a little better, and I appreciate knowing that what I share is helpful to you.
P.S. My very first blog post stated that I never learned how to spell well, use correct grammar, or structure a sentence correctly. It remains true…. When I read back through my newsletters and blog posts I chuckle and cringe at all of my mistakes; I spend weeks writing these things in order to have them reach you in correct form. Thanks for not judging me with this! Good news is: my oldest daughter is now starting to learn all of this in school! I intend to LEARN along side of her :) Yay!!
And a side note:
Dragonflies – they were abundant recently and because of a couple of experience with them I looked into their meaning a bit. I appreciate this:
“When we have made ourselves believe that the limitations of physical existence prevent us from changing and growing, Dragonfly medicine teaches us to pierce our self-made illusions. Dragonfly can cause us to question the illusion which we call reality, particularly that part of our realities which hinders our ability to grow and create transformation/change in our lives. Dragonfly conveys knowledge about greater dimensions of reality, and helps us travel to a realm of light and colour in which spiritual expansion is possible.” shamanicjourney.com