Monica-Faux-Kota,-Blog

Hello, beautiful women,

The newsletter that I wanted to share with you this month will take me time to pull together, and I have run out of time this month.  So instead of forcing it to happen quickly I will share those thoughts with you in January instead — which will be even more perfect.

For now, I want share something that I received yesterday in a text message from a client – an amazing woman whom I am honored to also call a friend.  She said, “….reminds me of you and sounds like something you could have written”.  I am grateful to have received it so that I have something of value to share with you in a pinch!

I think it is great.

Nurturing Ourselves

Many of us have been so deprived of nurturing that we think it’s silly or self-indulgent. Nurturing is neither silly nor self-indulgent; it’s how we show love for ourselves. That’s what we’re striving for in recovery—a loving relationship with ourselves that works, so we can have loving relationships with others that work.

When we hurt, we ask ourselves what we need to help us feel better. When we feel alone, we reach out to someone safe. Without feeling that we are a burden, we allow that person to be there for us.

We rest when we’re tired; eat when we’re hungry; have fun or relax when our spirits need a lift. Nurturing means giving ourselves gifts—a trip to the beauty salon or barber shop, a massage, a book, a new jacket, or a new suit or dress. It means a long, hot bath to forget about our problems and the world for a few moments when that would feel good.

We learn to be gentle with ourselves and to open up to the nurturing that others have to offer us.

As part of nurturing ourselves, we allow ourselves to give and receive positive touch—touch that feels appropriate to us, touch that is safe. We reject touch that doesn’t feel good or safe and is not positive.

We learn to give ourselves what we need in a gentle, loving, compassionate way. We do this with the understanding it will not make us lazy, spoiled, self-centered, or narcissistic. Nurtured people are effective in their work and in their relationships.

We will learn to feel loved by ourselves so much that we can truly love others and let them love us.

Today, I will nurture myself. I will also be open to the nurturing that I can give to others and receive from them.

Quoted from the app Language of Letting Go.

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This reading is for recovery purposes.  I am more comfortable saying that my client is in recovery, but the more that I explore the word and purpose of recovery (definition = restoration or return to any former and better state or condition),  I feel like any person who is intending on rising to their best self is in recovery.

I no longer reject this word as applying to me.  I am in a life long process of cultivating an optimal internal  state of  well-being.   And this requires recovery.  It feels good to own that word in full.

And I especially like this paragraph:
“We learn to give ourselves what we need in a gentle, loving, compassionate way. We do this with the understanding it will not make us lazy, spoiled, self-centered, or narcissistic. Nurtured people are effective in their work and in their relationships.” 

I will take this one step further and say that nurtured people are a gift to themselves AND everyone around them.  In my experience a well nurtured person carries the capacity to be fully present, enlightened, and selfless.  They are a true gift to the world.

This holiday season I am encouraging all of us to be more nurturing of ourselves.  It is such a busy time of year, and the chaos of it all can easily slip in and steal the joy and magic of the season.

As soon as possible, take some time to nurture YOU.  I would love to know how you do this, and how nurturing yourself allowed you to be a gift to those around you.  

Tonight I am going to take a looong-hot-quiet-bath with dim lighting, and sip on a big bottle of purified love water (more on this next month!).  I am certain that the gift of a calm, relaxed, and present woman will be enjoyed by my husband and our girls.

Happy holidays to you and yours, be generous with the gift that YOU are.

Big LOXE,
Monica

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