Happy 3rd Birthday, Wren Lee Faux-Kota
You were born on June 7th, 2012
Thank you for opening my heart, encouraging me to surrender and grow, and solidifying our family.
I could hear you knocking for at least 1.5 years before I hesitantly admitted that I wanted you. I had determined that we would be 1-and-done. I was not thrilled with motherhood so far, and I was in the process of recovering from an undiagnosed, silent, nervous breakdown = I was awakening.
I was feeling very raw, very exposed and very not-put-together. The thought of bringing another child into the world, and all that it entails, terrified me.
There was a series of events, including your loud knocks, that nudged me towards accepting you. One of those was an intuitive tarot card reading, my first and only one to date, that was full of you.
My intention for the reading was to gain some clarity on my next steps within my co-created business at the time, not to inquire about another child.
The reading was recorded, including the mysterious phone call (in a basement office that has no cell phone coverage) and I have saved it for you.
It could not have been made more clear to me; accepting what I intuitively knew, but doing my best to avoid, came within a few weeks of that reading:
We were going to choose to bring you into this world.
One of the best decision that I have ever surrendered to.
That card reading claimed that you would be easy on me, that we already knew each other, we already had an agreed contract, and that things would be okay, motherhood would get easier, and I could still passionately create my career.
You have been easy on me, it does feel like we have known each other already, and things are more than okay. Our life, our family, is in a really good place right now. We are moving in the right direction as individuals and as a team. I have surrendered to motherhood and am enjoying the journey (most of the time). And your presence has transformed my career path, which is growing in a way that feels perfect.
You have given us 3 years of incredible growth and expansion, lots of love, and a lot of laughs. You are sensitive, funny, already fluent in the English language, and an easy kiddo for the most part (you have some serious sass, just like your sister, that challenges me, likely because I have the same sass, too!).
You were conceived effortlessly, my pregnancy with you was happy and healthy, and the postpartum period (what I consider to be at least 3 years, if not for life) has been a profound, heart opening, journey for me – I did not realize how shut down I was.
You are a healer, I am sure of that. You naturally encourage love to flow freely, which requires one to eliminate all that blocks and binds its fluidity.
You often tell me that you are thinking of, or have been dreaming about, hearts and fire…..
And since you were gestating in my belly I have certainly been rekindling my heart.
Thank you for regularly demanding that I become present to the moment, play, slow down, laugh, cuddle, and love. Thank you for encouraging me to become my best self. And mostly, thank you for the incredible lesson on surrender.
My journey with surrender started with the birth of your sister, and your birth allowed me to experience the deeply- connected-richness that awaits me when I am able to fully surrender and become present to what is.
There are big lessons here.
To surrender requires full awareness and deep allowing, which requires letting go of everything that keeps me preoccupied and the need to control it (or define it).
And within a surrendered moment there is magic, such a deep connection to self and the web of life….
Wren, thank you for knocking and teaching me about hearts and fire. I am thoroughly enjoying my rekindled heart; I am burning up all that does not serve me anymore, and reconnecting to my essence (love), and am looking forward to many more years with you as my guide.