July 2019 Newsletter
Hello beautiful women,
Happy summer and thank you for being here – with how much information we have coming at us in various ways – I feel very fortunate that you also read what I have to share.
I want to finally announce what I have been manifesting for the past 5 years – actually it’s really been about 11 years, I just didn’t know what I was up to then. Then it felt like a nervous breakdown. A decade ago I was on the verge of ruining my life and silently imploding all while I wore a smile on my face as I created from my ego; I was mastering the act of pretending until I could no longer handle being such a damn phony. My body hurt, I was hardly breathing, my mind swam in chaos and made up stories, I was struggling as a new mother, and my marriage was on the line, yet the image I portrayed was having my shit together and digging my life.
So really this manifestation is the result of a journey through some really hard times and deep explorations that have ultimately led to me living within my integrity and manifesting from my heart with Source as my primary supporter.
Boy, manifesting from the heart feels so much better than from the ego. That said, it requires a lot of courage and I’ve found that courage requires fully owning my power, my self worth (or at least sincerely pretending to).
And that is what I’ve been doing these past 5 years.
Exploring self-love, self-worth, who I am with that intact, and verging on the point of owning my power.
I’ve also been contemplating my life’s purpose since the birth of my first child 11 years ago. As a child myself I did not have big dreams for the future, all I knew for certain is that I wanted a good marriage, to stay married, to be an excellent mother and available to my family – and I was certain that I would be a business woman and work with people in some way.
It took 6 months of being a new mother to to sink into the truth of my dreams. Marriage, motherhood, raising a solid healthy family, and having a career IS HARD. Especially while trying to maintain health and well-being for self.
And all of this is especially hard when integrity = wholeness is not intact.
Fast forward to now – I still want this dream and have done maybe too much self exploration in it and am therefore hyper aware of what is required in order to maintain my dream.
There have been a few segments of time where I felt like I was throwing my ambition out the window so that I could enjoy my life and family more. Slowing down in lieu of proving my worth and hustling for it was a MAJOR hurdle that has ironically been exactly what I needed in order to manifest this next chapter in my life.
And in this next chapter I want to authentically feel:
Purposeful, generous, full of joy, grateful, attentive, real, aware, available, contactable, sensual, embodied, responsible and accountable, vulnerable, kind, courageous, sensitive, creative, bold, in relationship with the earth, helpful, self-accommodating, vibrant, juicy, illuminated, and content…..and I want to feel nurtured and supported in this.
A peek into my logical side:
Our tiny 3 bedroom 1 bathroom house needs another bathroom and a little more square footage so that our girls can have some space to grow into.
I’ve outgrown my evening and weekend office hours and want more day time hours spent in my career, and I don’t want to pay more in rent.
My girls are growing and need me less than before, but I still want to remain available to them as they age. I want to take them to school, pick them up, feed them well and help them with their passions, projects and homework. I want to be available and present.
And I’d like examples of how-to-be surrounding them and I’d like a really convenient, comfortable, safe place for them to explore themselves in.
Being financially sound and wise I know the best move is to stay put in our tiny home, but we have some financial freedom to work with….
SO WHAT IF WE BUILD A SANCTUARY THAT CAN HOUSE and SUPPORT ALL OF THIS —IN OUR BACKYARD!?
This is part of what has been on my vision boards (a very worthy practice) for the past 6 years:
The beginning of intentional heart-centered living.
In 2015 the seed was planted.
I’ll tell more another time about the financial lessons learned in this year.
I finally finished my 2019 vision board in April, I was dragging my feet pretty considerably.
Committing to potential and possibility has some uncomfortable growth edges…
This is a screen shot of legit blueprints –
And these are construction documents and the building permit – there is a significant process in getting to this point.
I’m honestly stunned as I sit here and write to you. I can fully recall how I felt and thought when this was just a far fetched dream with zero financial viability. There were many points in time along the way where I sorta threw in the towel and had to wrestle with self sabotage – but I just can’t shake the truth —- ALL OF ME ILLUMINATES WHEN I DREAM INTO THIS VISION. All of me. My heart, my soul, my mind, my body, and my spirit, literally every single cell in me says YES – create this, it supports your wholeness and well-being, your family, your financial goals, along with so much more for so many more.
So – Faux-Kota Studio – The Sanctuary – will become a reality.
And from here forward my sharing space will come from a place of knowing that the quest for heart-centered-intentional-living is purposeful, honorable, fruitful and feels really good.
I’ve been coaching myself for 11 years straight and I’ve evolved – and I want to share what I know works, from a refuge that I create. With you in mind. With “Us” as the foundation.
I’m so damn excited.
And still a bit nervous….
But now this is all a budding reality – so, here we go.
More soon. I want to share about this process and acknowledge and honor those who have played a significant role in the manifestation of it. It’s been such a validating journey full of mystery, magic and logic. I’ve learned a ton so far and we’ve not even broken ground!
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE. You mean a lot to me.